Emma S******
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About the intended parents
I am 39, approx. 5ft 7" with shoulder length dark brown hair and glasses. I love my food, especially chocolate, and I regularly go to the gym to make up for my daily intake :) I love to potter in the garden, although I don't really know what I'm doing, and I like to be active - I'm like a Duracell battery: I keep going all day, until I finally collapse in a heap in front of the telly in the evening, by which time, it's all I can do to get up to go the loo, lol! Emotionally, I'm quite a sensitive soul, and I do bruise quite easily. I can be quite feisty though, and will stand up for myself if I feel it's warranted. I've also got 2 lovely cats, one of whom we got as a kitten 2 years ago, and he is (poor soul!) my baby substitute :)
What they are looking for
Because my husband and I have been 'diagnosed' with unexplained infertility, and have been trying for 5 years to have a baby. We want to have a family together, and have lots of love to give a child. I feel bereft every time I see a young family and remember, yet again, that I cannot achieve this for myself. The heartbreak and emotional strain is ongoing, and although life goes on, and we have other interests, our missing child/children has left a huge gap in our lives.
Personal message
Hello :) This feels a bit strange, writing to someone I don't know, and opening my heart to you about the thing that saddens me most in my life. Everywhere I look, there are families, it seems society is geared towards being a parent, and I feel so alone as one of the 'forgotten few' who can't achieve what nature intended me to do - have a child. Since we began trying for a family 5 years ago, both my husband and I have experienced so many emotions, and I would not wish our situation on anyone. It is ongoing, and while I may have to accept it, I will never be able to come to terms with being childless. I feel angry that this is happening to us. I feel frightened that the ways things look at this moment, I will never be a mum. Something that is taken so much for granted by so many, I cannot seem to have, and no one can tell me why. I dread people around me becoming pregnant, because I know that while I am happy for them, it will make me sad, and serve as a reminder, yet again, of how my husband and I cannot have the family we so desperately want. It's a secret life of sadness, anger, frustration and hurt, a desperate hurt, and a feeling of sheer inadequacy - why doesn't nature take its course and give us our family? It's a question that no one seems able to answer. It all comes down at the end of the day, to the basic desire to nurture and love a child we can call our own, to watch it grow and develop and see it off into the world, saying 'we did that - that's our child.'